My mother's passing has left with with a hole in my spirit that needs to heal. The idea of creating and performing a rope experience to express the deep and heart-rending sadness and grief I feel kept coming up for me; I couldn't get it out of my head no matter how hard I tried. So I spent a couple of weeks working things out and making plans and deciding how to approach something I've never done: create art from grief.

Michele and two of my closest friends, Seraphin and Yin, witnessed for me and participated by taking these pictures using a remote shutter release on the camera. What I'm presenting here is unedited and unprocessed and tells the story of the Lament. Even though there was so much more that didn't end up on film, this gallery captures the essence of the ritual,

I had eight songs that helped me express the rage, grief and sadness I'm feeling. I tied rope around each participant and lit a candle in front of them. Michele anointed me with oil after I tore the shirt from my back. I twisted, turned, entwined, hung limply, inverted, swiveled, flipped, swung, cried, choked-up, trembled, tripped, floated and flew as I tied myself again and again. In the end, I was exhausted and wrung out. I called my mother's name, lit three candles to signify the transition I feel for birth, life/love and death and cried some more as I spoke about my mother and what she meant not only to me but to all the people whom she invited into her life.

I was, and am, still sad, angry and grieving but I didn't expect any of that to change. It was simply the right thing for me to have done.

This is a long, long road.